Hoi Maarten,
Ik zou je graag wat feedback geven. De feedback betreft voornamelijk taalvormen. Here goes!
Dear Ms X,
Last year I travelled the world on my bicycle. Within this experience I had a personal revelation: whilst travelling far abroad I realized I wanted a job in which I can make a difference to the world. For this reason I am applying to the position of Project Manager XX at your organization. I believe my credentials and interests meet the job requirements. Moreover, I believe my values and experience meet the values and atmosphere of your organization!
I love IT, for it brings solutions, and I love it when consumers become enthusiastic about the new possibilities. I saw this enthusiasm in various complex ERP implementation projects, in which I had a leading role. My strength as a project manager in the IT business is to be an intermediary between software developers and the customer. By performing due diligence on what is needed and clearly define the goals of a project I establish an outcome which is in line with the customers needs. My colleagues appreciate me for my hands on mentality, strong analytical skills and ability to translate the costumer’s wish into software architectural design.
I find it very inspiring to work in an innovative environment. I am creative and can find ingenious solutions but I am also aware of the fact that it is not always wise to reinvent the wheel. Therefore I take a proactive role in seeking cooperation with other organisations that take on an innovative role. This resulted in partnerships from witch both partners benefited. Ik vind dat je hier teveel met 'ik' begint. Probeer eerst eens iets te zeggen over het bedrijf, en daarná hoe jij daar met jouw wensen en kwaliteiten bij aansluit.
I believe that my resume demonstrates that I have the complete range of skills and experience to deliver in the advertised position, including the organisational skills and right business mentality. It is harder to demonstrate in a resume the personal believes and eagerness to contribute to a sustainable future. Ik begrijp niet zo goed waarom je deze alinea toevoegt. M.i. hoort hij bij de volgende en ik zou hem eerder zó starten: "Allthough my resume demonstrates my complete range of skills and experience within the IT, I also wish to convey my personal values and beliefs, which I think are in line with those of your organization.
In Cambodia I saw the devastating consequences of deforestation and in Uzbekistan I saw the lifeless waters caused by cotton production and how farming families had to live. Processes in which I belief every single person can make changes in order to achieve a combined, big difference. In my personal life I try to make sustainable choices. For example by actively participating in a neighbourhood energy saving programme. Working for XXX would be an opportunity to put my professionals skills to use for a positive change: an opportunity which is of great personal value.
Therefore, I look forward hearing from you soon. I am available for interviews at your convenience.
Yours sincerely,
Hopelijk heb je er wat aan!
Groeten Helena
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