Feedback stagebrief (engels)

[Honeyblossom]

Ik ben bezig met een sollicitatiebrief voor mijn eindstage. Ik ben niet zo heel goed in brievenschrijven, zouden jullie willen kijken wat ik nog kan toevoegen en verbeteren aan de brief voordat ik hem verstuur?
Alvast bedankt!

mijn brief:

PLAATS, DATUM

Regarding: Internship airport

Dear Mrs. XXXX

I am a student at XXXX College in XXXX and I am in my last year of my study. With this letter I would like to inform about the possibility of an internship at the airport in XXXX for five months.

I am in my last year of my study Aviation Service and for my final internship I have to do an internship at an airport. Last year we had some presentation at school about an internship in XXXX and it was very interesting. I did my other internships in Spain and Belgium and that was a great experience. I see an internship at an International Airport as a big opportunity to learn more about working at an airport and to learn more about the culture in XXXX.

I hope I give enough information about myself and I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

MIJN NAAM

Enclosure: CV

[meave]

Ik zou wat meer informatie willen zien. Waar ben je goed in, wat zijn je competenties. Maar vooral waarom zouden ze juist jou als stagiere willen zien.

Bijvoorbeeld:

My name is xxx and your presentation at my school last year peeked my interest.

At this point I'm studying Aviation Service and my final internship is comming up. I'd like to have this internship at your airport, becouse (vul hier je reden waarom je juist daar wil werken in).

My qualities are (vul hier je compententies in.)

I hope that my letter peeked your interst and I hope for an appoitment to let you see what you can expect from me.

Yours sincerly,

(jouw naam)

[Kiek]

Beste Honeyblossom,

Ik zou iets meer over jezelf vertellen. Ook zou ik iets meer willen weten over waarom je zo graag bij dit bedrijf wil stage lopen. Het komt nu over alsof je daar solliciteert omdat je stage MOET lopen en dit bedrijf toevallig bent tegengekomen dus daar maar gaat solliciteren. Overigens staan er ook een aantal spelfouten in. Voordat je de brief gaat versturen zou ik er nog door een docent, kennis of forumlezer naar laten kijken.
Hieronder de verbeteringen voor het geval je de brief zo laat.

I am a student at XXXX College in XXXX and I am in thelast year of my study. With this letter I would like to inform about the possibility of doing aninternship at the airport in XXXX for five months.

I am in thelast year of my study Aviation Service and for my final internship I have to do an internship at an airport. Last year we had some presentations at school about an internship in XXXX and it was very interesting to me. I did my other internships in Spain and Belgium and they were great experiences. I see an internship at an International Airport as a big opportunity to learn more about working at an airport and to learn more about the culture in XXXX.

I hope I gave enough information about myself and I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

MIJN NAAM

Enclosure: CV