Motivatiebrief engels

[FlorentiaD]

Dankjewel voor je reactie.
Ik heb ook nog samen met mijn lerares mijn motivatiebrief na gekeken en we hebben het samen opnieuw gemaakt.
We hebben ook wat aan de punten gedaan die jij al aangaf.

Voor de mensen die ook nog een Engelse brief moeten schrijven, hier is dan mijn voorbeeld:

xxxx, 3 May 2013

Subject: Application International Media and Entertainment Management

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter because after my graduation I would love to enroll in the International Media and Entertainment Management course at the NHTV. I am sixteen years old. Currently I am taking my havo exams and I expect to graduate this year.

I demand a lot of myself so I am determined to pass with a seven as my final average grade. People in my direct environment that are determined to reach their goals influence me. I would like to think of myself as a person who loves to inspire others as well. Also, I have become very aware of the importance of having a clear and obtainable goal. For now, my main goal is to choose a good college where I can continue finding out who I really am and what kind of person I would like to become, both professionally and personally. I am convinced that the NHTV offers me that education.
I attended one of the NHTV information days and I was sold right away. The students that toured me around were very open and I felt welcome right away. What attracts me most is the opportunity of becoming a creative entrepreneur. I believe this course will equip me with the basic knowledge and skills I need to become successful in this field. At the same time, I will still have the freedom to develop my taste and to discover yet undiscovered talents and professional desires.
I realize that IMEM requires more than just creativity. It also requires creative thinking skills and genuine interest in a business like approach of media and entertainment. I am looking forward to developing these important skills and I am convinced that I will succeed at this.

I understand that a short written motivation does not give you a complete idea of my personality and skills. Therefore I would like the opportunity of telling more about my goals and myself during a personal conversation. I am looking forward to meeting you.

Kind regards,
Cynthia xxxxx

[Kopje Koffie]

Je legt de nadruk iets teveel op jezelf (begint bijna iedere zit met I).

Probeer wat meer verbindingswoorden te gebruiken; therefore etc.

Voor de rest staan er nog wat (grammaticale) fouten tussen.

[Joost_D]

Cynthia,

Zoals meerdere mensen al hebben gezegd staan er een paar foutjes in, nieteens zozeer grammatisch maar semantische fouten.

Bijvoorbeeld (slechts eentje)

The students that toured me around were very open – moet bijvoorbeeld zijn
The students who provided me with the tour were very forthcoming

Probeer ook inderdaad iets minder te hameren op “I” en stel de zin op een andere manier op. Met een beetje hulp gaat dit echter helemaal goedkomen.